It took me a while to write a new post, since I wasn’t feeling all that well. After my ‘walk of freedom’ last week, I started to get more symptoms: spasms, jerks, muscle tension, wobbly neck, a rotated and tilted head. I did not expect to recover within a few days, but it is not easy to accept aggravating symptoms – which I felt I had already overcome months ago…
Yet, I decided that I should see this in the light of healing. Dr. Lee gave me a document on healing crisis (see the Documents section of this blog), in which he refers to the Law of Cure by Dr. Hering. This law basically says that, in order to recover from a (chronic) disease, you will need to go through the process that you have experienced during the disease, but now in reverse order. It is a rewinding process, where the most recent symptoms and situations get addressed first, and the oldest and toughest ones last. In short: last in, first out. Intuitively it makes sense to me that, as the body/mind begins battling the symptoms, these flare up one last time before subsiding. The law also states that the healing progresses from the top of the body to the bottom. I don’t think this should be taken too literally, but rather metaphorically: before starting to heal, you need to be convinced that you will heal. And this mostly takes place in top part of the body.
So how can I be sure that my current symptoms are a sign of healing, for which I should be grateful? First of all, I have felt a lot of changes and fluctuations within a brief period of time. Secondly, apart from my CD symptoms, I have other physical changes. I feel pain and discomfort in places where I haven’t felt it before. And strange things happen. For example, last night before I went to bed, I suddenly noticed that both my feet were incredibly swollen. For a moment it scared the hell out of me. I really didn’t know what I might have done to make that happen (certainly not the hike). So it must be some physical reaction occurring within the framework of healing. Right now, the swelling is somewhat reduced. Thirdly, my energy level is on the rise. Yesterday I walked during 2 hours without getting tired at all. I could have carried on for much longer. And a rising energy level is a sign of healing, no matter the symptoms experienced.
As an intermezzo, let me share some photographs that I took during my walk yesterday.
Back to my current changes. Lastly, I have been trying to get in touch with my body for some time now, as I am convinced that it is an important part in my healing process. I am sure that many CD patients share with me that they feel numb (apart from the discomfort and pain due to CD), out of touch with their bodies. Well, in the past week I have often been profoundly in touch with my body. I have felt strong sensations, going through me like a flow. Good sensations and unpleasant ones as well. Is this a consequence of the body-mind communication that is being reestablished by the treatments? Anyway, I am so grateful that I am (re)gaining this capability. I will elaborate on the importance of this capability sometime soon.
Concluding: it seems I am still on the right track! My body has shown me that healing is within reach, and now tells me to do some more hard work for it.
The clinic is closed for 4 days, since Dr. Lee is abroad. It gave me time to extend the information on this blog. I have added a new page: Phenomena, where I have gathered information on how cervical dystonia manifests itself. I think this is a good exercise, allowing to find patterns in these phenomena, which will shed light on the meaning of cervical dystonia. And that understanding will definitely help to actually cure cervical dystonia.
Anyway, I am really curious to get feedback from other CD patients on these phenomena. Can you confirm? Do you recognize yourself? Do you have adjustments, or additions? Please let me know!
Also, I have started to use Twitter for daily updates, which are shown in the sidebar of my blog. Each update starts with a rating between 1 and 10. (1 representing the situation where CD is completely overwhelming, and 10 representing the situation where CD is absent.)
That’s it for today. I just want to thank you all for following me! Although time and again I am rather alone here, I do not feel that way thanks to your supportive comments and messages! Gamsa hamnida!