Yesterday I saw a Parkinson´s patient who started to walk after a single treatment. The entire clinic applauded for the old man. Last week a young woman with rheumatoid arthritis entered the clinic. After one treatment she was crying tears of gratitude: with one treatment, her pain had almost gone, a sensation she hadn’t felt in 6 years.
This week Dr. Lee told me that I am recovering slightly quicker than the average CD patient. He assumes it’s because of my continued efforts to heal and to think positively. I am glad to hear that. Still, I am often confused about what healing means to me. It is one thing to understand what is needed for the healing, but confirming that it is actually happening is another.
In my view, the basis for healing is that we are all able to shape our own reality with our imagination and thoughts, or minds. This is a well-known concept propagated by spiritual traditions of all times. Now, science joins in with Consciousness Physics. Nothing is ‘real’, objectively. We can only experience the world, including ourselves, via our consciousness. What we perceive is always different from what lies behind it. The photons coming from a blue sky aren’t really blue. We just perceive the sky as blue. The material objects we experience as being solid, aren’t really solid. At the atomic level, matter consists of empty space mostly. And the small amount of matter that’s there, doesn’t really consist of well-defined particles, but rather wave functions, spread out, not localized. It’s like a big hologram. Our senses and brain translate our universe for us, allowing us to perceive it the way we are wired. It can be argued that consciousness is the most elementary entity in our world; not time, not space, not matter, not energy. Also, quantum physics has shown that there is no ‘objective’, independent material world. When we observe, i.e., experience something, we are influencing that something. It is impossible to be detached from that something. You could say that by experiencing, i.e., by using our consciousness, we are creating our world. For a matter of fact, we are interconnected with everything and everyone. Our consciousness is collective. That has been proven in several large-scale experiments. When a group of people in one part of the world has learned something, people at the other end of the world are able to learn the same thing within a fraction of the time. We are tapping into the collective consciousness ‘field’.
But enough about that. The bottom line is that, once you are really convinced that you will heal, you will. You will simply create your reality with your consciousness. You determine that you don’t need the symptoms anymore and replace them with healthy patterns. It really is a decision you make. Period.
Well, that’s the theory, it’s the ideal world. But human nature is stubborn. We have little sneaky voices telling us things we don’t want to hear, we have negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. And with those, we are also creating our realities – not always the most helpful ones however. Those thoughts and beliefs are acquired in the course of our lives. At times when we were vulnerable and hurt, when we couldn’t defend ourselves and blamed ourselves for the pain. We didn’t have those voices when we were infants. Addressing them is vital in any healing process.
I am trying to do that by first identifying the voices and understanding why they are there, in order to neutralize them. The next step is to access the suppressed anger and the stuck freeze-response energy from prior trauma. That will allow gradual release and acceptance and forgiveness. It will make room for flow and eliminate the need for control.
Now I feel far from free; I am still experiencing waves of symptoms. Today they feel like the symptoms I had during the worst episode of my illness. They are also consistent with those first symptoms, because since a few days the pain in my neck and shoulders is absent, just like in the outbreak phase one year ago. Dr. Lee confirms that these are good symptoms, as they are part of the healing process.
But I am pendulating between despair and hope, between cowardice and courage, between inertia and action, between freeze and feeling, between evil and love.
Anything could happen. I’m in a vacuum, keeping my fingers crossed.